Tribe of Stinson – Living In South Korea

I Can’t Believe I’m Showing You This

This is pretty gutsy so I hope that you all give me some credit for showing you these pictures.  I am not self abusing,  I just want to motivate myself for my next round of dieting.  I am trying to be accountable.  So,  this is where I am right now,  I am not very happy in my skin and I am doing something about it.

This was me on my 40th birthday back in June.  At least I was dressed up and very happy unwrapping the wonderful gift my hubby gave me.

This was me back in July, 2007 at 127 pounds.  It was my first visit to Korea.  We stayed for two months during that summer.  My husband did not have authorization to own a vehicle back then so we walked everywhere.  I got in the best shape that I had ever been in since having the kids. 

I was down to a womens’ size 4 and felt so strong.  We climbed the Great Wall of China that summer.  I don’t think I could do it right now, the shape that I’m in.

Sigh……….

I think this is quite possibly the least flattering picture my husband has ever taken of me.  This is last week when we went to Everland.  OK,  if this were paper, I would have torn it up and ran screaming down the hallway and buried my head under the covers.

But here I am showing you my rolls of fat like a freak.  I can’t help it I must be a closet exibitionist or something.  Wait,  that’s an oxymoron.

Back to the past.  Look at those legs!  I know I can have them back.  They are the first thing that gets in shape when I make an effort.  But you may wonder how I gained so much in the first place?  Actually  these pictures are from 2 diets ago.  I gained 30 pounds after this and lost it again over a two year period.  I got thin while hubby was deployed and I was living with mom in phoenix.  I gained the weight once again after moving here.  It totally sucks.  I go up and down and have been doing it for 15 years now.  I used to be perpetually thin before being a mom.

Of course I used to go work all day long and work out like an athlete afterword too.

Having kids, being a stay to at home mom and moving alot just makes me fat.  I get too caught up in living every day life to care much about taking care of my body.

For some weird reason,  I can lose weight when my husband is not living with me.  It is easy to eat healthfully when I can fix a small  low calorie meal for just myself and then feed the kids sandwiches, milk and fruit.  Cooking meals and going through big life changes like moving throws my groove off.  I tend to eat out much more when things  get crazytoo.  I also turn to sweets for emotional solace when I am depressed.

It drives me nuts.

So,  here’s where I want to get back to.  I want to be 127 pounds or less again.  I’m 5 foot 1 inch and this is a high healthy weight for me.  But I think it looks pretty darn good.  Right now I’m 157,  for my height that puts me in the obese category.  Ugh! I hate that word. 

I need encouragement ’cause right now it is 10:10 pm and I’m hungry.  Dinner was a big chicken salad and it just didn’t stick.  I forgot how hard it can be to have an empty stomach and try to go to sleep.

I figure whenever I’m having a tough time going down this road I can look at this post and hopefully stay on track.  I’ll keep you up to date on my progress.

Tags: dieting in Korea